And it was all that damn midget's fault. That she-devil had practically planned this all out on that faithful day that this shit all happened. Why else would everything be going her way at this moment? He was pretty sure she entered his life for the sole purpose of bringing misery into his life and she was doing a very good job at it.
This all started back a few days ago and he had every right to blame that noble back in Soul Society…
Flashback
"Ichigo!"
"I said 'no'!" he shouted.
A pout immediately appeared on Rukia's face as her big violet orbs started to water. "But Ichigo," she sniffed, "If you won't take me then who will? I can't go back to Soul Society without a gift for Niisama. Do you have any idea how disgraceful that would be?"
But he rolled his eyes as he kept his eyes focused on his book in order to avoid her look. "I don't care."
"Ichigo," she whined. But when she got nothing in response—yet alone a look at her way—she decided she needed to take this a step higher.
He was silently hoping that the midget had given up now that he was not answering, but he was shocked when a pair of slender soft arms wrapped around his neck from behind. His entire body stiffened when he felt silky, lavender-scented hair tickle the skin on his neck. And he forgot how to breathe the moment her warm breath rolled over his ear.
"Ichigo," she whispered into his ear as she pulled herself closer to him from behind, "Please." She dragged out the last word for the dramatic feel. And she smirked when she realized that it drew goose bumps all over his skin.
In less than a minute the two were leaving the house, wrapped up in thick coats to keep them warm from the cool air, and making their way to the mall. Ichigo was grumbling something along the lines of 'evil-midget,' 'gay-flower-bastard,' 'stupid-old-goat,' etc. mixed with every colorful words he knew. But Rukia ignored his chants as they waited for the bus. She was just pleased with herself that she got her way again.
As the bus pulled up in front of them, she hopped inside and made her way to the back of the bus while Ichigo pulled out his wallet to pay for both of them. This time grumbling along the lines of how 'she-always-uses-my-money-and-I-bet-she's-going-to-use-my-money-to-buy-something-for-Byakuya-too,' he made his way to the very back where she was sitting, leaning against the open window.
"Oi," he called out as soon as he sat down, "Don't lean too far or your might fall through."
"Like that's going to happen," she stuck her tongue out at him before looking back out again.
He scoffed back at her before slumping against his seat. It wasn't until after the bus started to move that he felt the cold air stinging his cheeks. "Oi, Rukia. Close the window. It's cold."
But she ignored his complaint as she allowed the cold winter air flow through her hair like the fingers of a lover.
"Rukia," he called out again. When she yet again ignored him he sat up and abruptly closed the window shut, pulling the female Shinigami out of her daze.
"Hey! What was that for?"
"I told you to close that door but you wouldn't listen so I took it upon myself to do it," he told her as he buried his nose deeper under his scarf. "Who freaking opens the window in the middle of winter?"
"Me," she downright snapped at him. She reached out to open the window again but Ichigo was quick to grab her wrist, stopping her midway. "Ichigo!"
"There are other people in the bus," he told her sternly, "And I don't want them all to visit our clinic later today all because you wanted to open the window and give everyone a cold. And don't forget your body can't handle a cold right now either."
Rukia glared at him for a second, trying her best to keep her ground, when she noticed someone from the corner of her eyes. There was an old lady sitting only several seats in front of her who was shivering even though she was thickly wrapped up in clothes and the heater on the bus was on. Sighing in defeat, she slumped back into her seat and merely looked out the window.
"Good girl," he smirked at her defeat as he sat back as well.
The two continued their silent ride downtown, neither saying a word in this comfortable moment. Ichigo merely kept his eyes in front of him to keep track of where they were, while Rukia just stared outside at the passing buildings and people. When their stop arrived they slowly made their way off the bus. The moment Rukia jumped down the last step of the bus, an icy breeze swept past her, causing her to retreat further into her white coat that she got from Ichigo for her birthday only a few days ago.
"I thought you like the winter wind?" he eyed her.
Rukia glared at him over her high collar. "I do. But that wasn't a calm breeze; it was Hitsugaya-tachio in his Bankai form."
Ichigo rolled his eyes at her pathetic attempt of an explanation as he led her down the busy street. "What are you planning on getting Byakuya anyways?"
She shrugged her shoulders as she caught up to him, who had purposely slowed down his pace for her as if it was only natural for him to do so. "I'm not sure yet. I want to look around before deciding on anything."
"Psch," he scoffed, "No matter what you or anyone else gets him, that bastard will never like it—"
"CHAPPY!"
Her screeching voice that just interrupted him left him cringing, but more in term of the word she said instead of her high tone. "No," he sternly said.
But she wouldn't have any of it. "Chappy!" she shouted—less banshee-like this time, thankfully—as she grabbed his arm and started pulling him towards the pet store not too far from them.
"Rukia!" He tried to stop her but she was using all her strength to pull him along. "Rukia! I said 'no'!" But by the time the last word left his mouth they were already standing by the shop. Rukia had her nose pressed up against the glass window as she gawked at the furry white creature that was staring up at her with sparkling eyes that was literally screaming 'please buy me.'
And Rukia was falling for it.
"Ichigo—"
"NO!" he shouted before she could say another word, "I am not buying you that damn rabbit."
"But Ichigo—"
"No Rukia. We're here to buy something for that stupid brother of yours, not you." Grabbing one of her hands, he immediately started to pull her away.
Rukia glared at the back of his head as she tugged back. "What is wrong with Chappy?"
"Too much to list."
She scoffed at his immediate reply. "That's not true. He's cute, white, soft—"
"Ugly, smelly, stupid-looking—ow!" he yelped when she stepped on his foot. "Rukia!" he shouted when she continued to stomp nonstop.
"Take back everything that you said about Chappy!"
"Why? It's the truth!"
"No it isn't!"
Ichigo growled as he noticed how this conversation was going nowhere. "Enough. Let's just get going."
"Not until you buy me Chappy," she glared, "You did promise to get me a bunny last time."
"I only said that because you weren't feeling good," he snapped at her, "Why else would I say bullshit like that?"
Rukia gasped at his confession and her face reddened in anger. "Kurosaki Ichigo, if you don't keep your promise and get me Chappy, then I will make you regret pissing me off."
The Substitute Shinigmai snorted at her threat. "Please, nothing you do will ever force me to buy that furball."
Her glare intensified at his casual reaction against her threat. That meant she had to get really serious this time. "Then expect nothing from me for a long time, Kurosaki Ichigo."
He leaned down at her to try and intimidate her with his height. "Fine by me, midget. Besides, it's not like my life revolves around you. I bet you won't even last a day without me."
"Fine then. Let's see who caves in first."
End of Flashback
The next thing he knew she was really not talking to him.
The next thing he knew she was not even coming near him as if he was some plague.
The next thing he knew she got his entire family and friends out against him.
The next thing he knew she wasn't giving him any!
All for a freaking rabbit!
"This better be worth it," he grumbled into the harsh wind as he made his way to the very store he had considered as his archenemy the moment Rukia first came by here before the whole execution-situation. Walking inside the pet store, he eyed the white furball that Rukia always cooed over and called over one of the workers.
As that person pulled out the white rabbit for Ichigo to check out, he grabbed the back of its neck and held the creature in front of him, glaring at it thoroughly, unfazed by that glittering look that got Rukia screwing with his life in every way possible.
"You better be worth it…"
Several hours later…
Ichigo, with his arms under his messy mob of hair, sighed contently as he stared up at his ceiling. Rukia on the other hand was still panting against his chest as she was coming down from her high.
Yes, everything was totally worth it.
"That was…wow," she sighed as she snuggled deeper into his warmth.
He smirked arrogantly. "I know."
"Remind me again to get on your bad side every once in awhile," she joked.
"Gladly."
Rukia grunted as she scooted higher on his chest to rest her head against his calming heart beat. "I told you would be the first one to cave in. Don't piss me off again."
He rolled his eyes at her comment. "I didn't get that stupid rabbit just because you were leaving me hanging."
"Oh?" she eyed him amusedly, "Then why did you get him?" He looked down at her but reframed from answering. She chuckled at his childish expression. "Was Ichi-kun lonely that I wasn't playing with him? And because nobody else would play with you either?"
He growled at her comment. "Shut up. And why the hell did you have to get the others involved in this?"
"Because it made this game more exciting."
"Geez, thanks for telling me this was just a game for you. I was seriously about to lose my mind!" he glared at her.
But she merely laughed at his face as she snuggled closer to him. She smiled happily as she reminisced how he entered the house only a few hours ago with Chappy nestled happily in its cage. Yuzu and Rukia nearly fainted in pure glee while Isshin actually did faint. When the coast was clear, she dragged him back up to their room and gave him the loving she's been denying him for the past few days. Overall it was a great day. And even the rest of the Kurosaki family was happy along with her. Except…
Rukia remained quiet for a moment before nudging him on the side. "Oi, Ichigo."
"Hmm?"
Lifting herself halfway, she peered down at him with a small frown. "I just remembered something."
"What?"
"We can't keep Chappy."
"…What?" he deadpanned.
She nodded. "Karin has allergies."
Ichigo stared up at her in utter disbelief before growling low in his chest. "Dammit. I forgot."
"And don't forget who's coming here in a few months," she added, "We can't keep Chappy here. He's not exactly what your father would call as 'safe' or 'clean' by then."
The man only groaned at his situation. "You couldn't have remembered these facts a few days ago?"
"Well sorry but I was a bit preoccupied if you haven't noticed," she huffed.
But he continued to wallop in his own misery. Seriously, Rukia wasn't making his life easier. "Well then you think of something to do with that rabbit. I just wasted a lot of my money getting it for you so it's your responsibility."
"But I don't know what to do with him. I'm still foreign to this world," she pouted at him.
As retaliation, he pulled himself out from under her and turned over to present his back to her. "I don't care."
Rukia glared at his back and his silly behavior. "Ichigo."
Instead of replying he let out a loud, fake snore.
"Stop acting like a baby!" Sitting upright—while making sure to have the blanket covering her up somewhat decently—she grabbed her pillow and smacked it over his head.
"Ah!" he yelped. He growled as he turned his head to glare at her. "Dammit Rukia, I was trying to get some sleep here!"
"Well you're not going to until you figure something out!" she glared back with the same level of intensity. "Even though I want to keep Chappy, we can't. And you know very well that I shouldn't be doing anything too extreme."
He rolled his eyes at her excuse. "Finding a home for that furball is not extreme. You're not that weak and I have bruises to prove it."
She scoffed at his words. "Aren't you the one who won't let me do anything because you think I can't take care of myself?" When he didn't reply she continued with her ranting. "And my current situation should be more of a reason to get protective over."
"Psch, and I thought you didn't like it when I get overprotective."
"Only when you're doing it during unnecessary moments."
"Isn't this one of those moments?"
"Nope," she answered with a smile, "Unnecessary was two months ago before but things are different now."
He glared at her bright expression, knowing he totally lost. With a groan he lied back down on his back to let Rukia climb back onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around her petite body and kissed the top of her head. "Well, at least help me think of some place we can take that rabbit to."
"Does it hurt to use your head so much?" she joked, earning a slight jab on the side from the man under her. "Well, why don't we take him to Inoue?"
"And piss Ishida off when his girl starts paying more attention to the furball than him? No way," he answered, "That pansy is also obsessed with staying germ-free and that rabbit isn't exactly the definition of clean. That's why we're getting rid of it."
Rukia slapped him hard on the chest. "Don't say it like that. We're sending Chappy to a new home, not getting rid of him."
"Evil midget," he mumbled as he looked up at the ceiling in thought. "Chad? He likes cute things."
Her nose scrunched up in thought. "He already has that parakeet to take care of. And he's busy with his band lately that I don't think he will be able to give Chappy enough attention."
"Then that just destroyed my entire list," he dramatically sighed.
She rolled her eyes at how easily he was giving up. "There are still a lot of other people we could ask. There's Tatsuki—"
"Who considers a punching bag as her best friend."
"—Keigo—"
"Who'd be too depressed that he wouldn't be able to screw around like the rabbit."
"—Mizuiro—"
"Who would be too busy screwing around like rabbits—OW!"
"Then you think of someone!" she shouted after punching his guts. "Stop shooting down all my ideas and you come up with some."
He muttered "Bitch" under his breath as he scowl only deepened in thought. Just like Rukia, he was thinking of all the people that they knew and who would be best to take the rabbit for them. And it had to be someone they could visit often so Rukia could see the rabbit whenever she wanted. An evil smirk suddenly made its way across his lips. After all, this ordeal all started because of that bastard. "Actually, I know the perfect place to send him to…"
Several days later…
Byakuya didn't even blink as he stared into the sparkling eyes that were literally screaming 'please take care of me.' The great noble stared a second longer before picking up the note that was sent along with this furry creature. He looked at the note and a thin eyebrow rose up.
To Byakuya,
This is your present from us in the human world. His name is Chappy
—Kurosaki Ichigo
P.S Yoruichi used that 'Sakura-crested Kuchiki Full Access Pass' you gave me last year to grab practically all the sake in your store and is drinking them with Urahara and my old man to celebrate your birthday. They say "Thanks."
P.P.S Rukia and I are having a baby.
P. P.P.S. Tessai-san says 'Happy Birthday.'
After a short pause the letter was immediately shredded into thousands of tiny pieces as the noble suddenly disappeared to the human world. Chappy on the other hand just scratched behind his ear as he sought for a comfortable spot in his new home.
Nestling against a long, white cloak he rolled around before drifting off to sleep, oblivious to the chaos his owners were causing in the other dimension.
A/N: A short, nonsensical oneshot that I thought of while writing my research paper. It was fun since I haven't written anything ICHIRUKI related in a while. My fingers are still tingling in excitement.
If you read the chapter, you'll notice that I did insinuate on Rukia being pregnant a few times (but very carefully so as to not ruin the surprise). I first wrote about Karin being allergic to rabbits (although I don't know if that's even true) because I didn't want to just say "I'm pregnant." That would have ruined the surprise. And the white cloak Chappy slept on is Byakuya's captain's robe. Another reason for Byakuya to hate Ichigo :D The 'Sakura-crested Kuchiki Full Access Pass' is from the New Years Omake in Bleach. I don't remember which chapter but I'm sure you guys can find it online XD
Oh, and for those who read and got confused on the part about: "The next thing he knew she wasn't giving him any!" I was trying to say: "The next thing he knew she wasn't giving him sex!" Oh, the horrors! This was practically the thing that got him to cave in. Pretty sad since he couldn't last past a few days without Rukia but I guess that's because we all know how whipped he is XD
By the way, I'm working on another oneshot and it should be out soon (probably in a week or two). And to those who are writing me suggestions for a new story, THANK YOU for all those ideas. I am reading over them and planning on incorporating some of your ideas into my work. So others are free to also throw me some ideas (I do reply to PMs more than reviews).
Thanks for reading! And please review for this too!
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