Sometimes, it is absolute torture for me. I can't help but feel jealous over my younger traveling companion, Ash Ketchum. Why am I so jealous?
Well, it's simple really. I'm lagging behind the two of them watching the fiery red-head argue with the dark-haired little boy. I shove both of my hands in my pockets just to stop myself from reaching out and grabbing Misty and pulling her back here with me.
It's unfair, you know. I'm the oldest, I always have to keep these two in line, especially Ash. Misty is so much different when she's not around him. When it's just her and I together it's peaceful. She seems so grown up and calm.
Just last night, right before bed, I saw her brushing her hair. It was long, spilling down her back like a river of fire and oh-so beautiful. I've had a crush on her for months now, ever since Ash walked into my gym.
When my good for nothing father decided to take his responsibility at the gym, I decided to go with Ash to pursue my dream of becoming a Pokemon breeder. Sure, that was the reason I voiced aloud, but I also had another motive.
I've known these two for a long time and I would never do anything to have Ash mad at me for stealing his girl away, though I know I could do it in a heartbeat. I used to flirt with every girl I saw just because it was fun. I was young and my hormones were out of control.
Now, when I flirt with women, Misty pulls me away by my ear. I only continue to flirt just to see if she'll do it. It gives me a sense of power, to know that, just maybe, she's jealous that I'm flirting with Nurse Joy, or Officer Jenny, or some pretty girl off the street.
Maybe one day I can make her jealous enough where she'll actually admit her feelings to me. If she has any…
We're walking by a perfume shop now, Misty's begging Ash to go in and of course he's refusing. He only thinks about himself and I see the sad, disappointed look on Misty's face.
"Let her go in, Ash." I speak up, receiving a disbelieving glare from my younger companion. Misty spins around to face me, a huge smile on her face. I'm almost bowled over in surprise as she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me out of gratitude.
"At least some guys care…Thanks Brock." She says, glaring at Ash as she skips into the perfume shop. There are lots of pretty girls inside, but I can't take my eyes off Misty. Today, she looks absolutely beautiful, exceptionally feminine and if it wasn't for Ash complaining grumpily, just looking at her would put me in a better mood, as it has before.
Ash folds his arms and looks up at me. "What'd you do that for? Jeez, we have to get going! I need to earn more badges!"
"Ash, it wouldn't hurt to let Misty look around." I tell him, leaning against the wall. I try to remain cool and confident, the complete opposite of Ash. Maybe then, she'll notice me then.
"This is a waste of time and money." He complains again, stomping his foot, and I just ignore him. I'm far too intrigued at the moment to really pay attention to his immature rants.
Ash keeps blabbing, but I don't hear him. She's headed this way, a bag in her hand and a happy smile on her face. I pushed myself off the side of the wall and she falls into step beside me. Ash is full speed ahead to next the gym, but I want to walk leisurely beside Misty. I want to cherish the moment without the threat of Ash around.
Not that I'm threatened by Ash in anyway whatsoever…
"What did you buy?" I asked, watching her as she spritzed the perfume on her wrist. She holds her arm up to my nose and I take a small sniff.
"It's called Twilight Rose. It smells really good, don't you think?"
"Smells beautiful." I reply, cleverly. If she got the hint, she doesn't show it. She just puts the bottle back into the shopping bag and I sigh. Partially from relief, and partially because I'm miserable.
It seems that Ash has almost distanced himself from Misty and I, which I think has really made her feel bad. I've also noticed we've been spending a lot of time together without Ash, which isn't a bad thing for me, but I know it bothers her.
She's told me a few times that it hurts her when all Ash cares about is winning, or getting badges, or making Pikachu even stronger. My consoling has never went past more than a friendly hug, but sometimes I wish we could have more.
I've always heard the sisters that ran Cerulean City Gym were exceptionally beautiful, but I really didn't know it until I met Misty.
I look over at her, she's shooting Ash a mean glare and I grin, nudging her with my elbow. Her glare turns into a smile and she playfully slaps me on the arm. We must be lagging behind because Ash is getting further up the road, appearing smaller and smaller as he goes.
Eventually, we stop walking and I playfully wrestle her in the middle of the street.
"Brock Harrison! Stop it, this instant!" Misty demands playfully, but I don't stop. She's laughing and seems to have forgotten all about Ash for the moment. Her attention's totally on me and I'm loving it.
I hear a motorcycle engine and look back to see Officer Jenny step off her motorbike. "Don't you know it's dangerous to play in the middle of the street?" She asks.
Misty looks momentarily worried and I wonder if it's because she's afraid she's in trouble with the law, or if she's afraid I'm going to flirt with Jenny like I always do. I take my chances.
I grab the officer's hands, bend down on one knee and smile up at her. "I'm terribly sorry, I was just trying to show my younger companion how dangerous it can be to play in the middle of the stre--OW!"
It never fails, she's got me by the ear again, dragging me down the sidewalk, my shoes are scraping against the pavement. I can't help but smile, maybe she really is jealous.
"C'mon, Brock. We're going to lose Ash if we don't catch up." She says rather irritably, and sometimes I wonder if I go too far. She's thinking about him again and my heart sinks.
Brock Harrison. What do I really think about him?
I've asked myself that question so many times. Sure, at first, I had the hugest crush on Ash, that is, until I fallowed him to Pewter City. I remember that day like it was yesterday, even though we all have been together for a very long time.
We're in the Jhoto League towns now, Ash is collecting more badges and Brock and I have started to spend more time together. Suspiciously. Not that I mind.
I sit beside him in the stands, which are pretty much half empty as he battles for another badge. Brock really isn't paying attention, he's focused on a Breeder's digest magazine.
My mind starts to drift and I often think about something I would really rather not think about. Professor Ivy. What did Brock do when he stayed with her while I sailed around the orange islands with Ash and that weird Artist guy? Who by the way, gave me his number the day he left.
I think I left the paper in my left jean pocket and washed it…Oh well.
I do notice he is looking at me every few seconds, he peeks up from his book and I shift my position uncomfortably. He's so alluring and I can't figure out for the life of me why I liked Ash for so long.
I always knew I liked Brock, of course. But it wasn't until he said he was staying with Professor Ivy and not coming with us to the Orange Islands that I realized how much I really missed Brock and how much I actually cared for him.
Maybe even love him.
Not that I would ever admit that out loud. It's way to weird, he's like a brother to me, almost. But not quite…
I'm not sure if he's really even reading the Breeder's digest to be honest, because it's outdated and he just seems tobe flipping it from cover to cover. Evenutally he gets bored with it and plops it down beside him.
I stiffen, I hope he doesn't notice. I've found myself not being able to breath when he's around because I'm so nervous. My words get caught in my throat and I can barely move. I'm really surprised I was able to give him that hug this afternoon like I had.
Maybe it wasn't a good enough hint, though, after all, he still flirted with Jenny.
Ash's battle is going great, he's only got one more Pokemon to defeat, but I still look sad. Brock scoots in closer to me and I can smell his cologne and detergent, scents that Ash lacks. I'm turning into a woman far faster than Ash is turning into a man, and Brock…
Well, he's been a man for a long time.
"Misty, are you feeling alright?" He asks me and I look up at him rather embarrassed that he had noticed I wasn't looking so chipper like I normally am.
"I'm fine." I reply quickly, only making eye contact with him for a second. Brock has matured so much since he stayed with Professor Ivy and I think about how unfair it was that she…
I stop myself. I don't want to think about those two being intimate. I respect the professor in her work, but as a heartbroken woman… I'm not too fond of her.
He looks back towards the battle and I become curious as to why he asked. "Why do you ask?"
"You just look a little sad." He tells me and my blush deepens. "Does it have anything to do with Ash wanting to win all the time? You know, how he acted earlier."
No. But of course, my reply is totally different. "Yea, I guess…" I tell him. I have found something I can use as an excuse for my mood swings, my depressed moments and my excuse to be around Brock. When it reality, it's me trying to cope with the fact he doesn't like me.
Probably because I'm too young, or not as pretty as the other girls he sees. Maybe I don't compare with Professor Ivy, or Suzy the Pokemon breeder on Scissor Street, or even Officer Jenny and nurse joy.
Suddenly, I feel his warm hand on mine and look up at him. He's not looking at me, his gaze is out towards the battle field, but I'm so stunned I can't move. "Don't worry about him, Misty. One day, you're going to find a man that only cares about you…only you."
I blink a few times in shock. Since when has Brock ever said anything so sincere, his voice was serious and his palms were even a little sweaty. He closes his fingers around my hand for a quick second and I feel my heart skip a beat.
Brock Harrison is holding my hand and once again I can't seem to speak, or move, or even breath for that matter.
Surprisingly, the match is over and he's still holding my hand.
"Alright! I got another badge!" I exclaim excitedly. Misty and Brock don't seem too excited. I can't imagine why. Pikachu is already asleep on my discarded jacket as I fix up my bed in the room at the Pokemon center we're staying at.
Misty's standing in front of the mirror, combing her hair as usual and Brock is brushing Vulpix's tail. I'm already in my pajamas, but I'm too wound up for sleep. "I'm going to enter the Jhoto League and be the greatest trainer of all time!"
"That's great, Ash." Brock exclaims non enthusiastically from his bed as he curls the fox Pokemon's hair.
"Yea…" Misty says, sounding rather irritable. Though I can't Imagine why.
Maybe they're just tired. I decide to turn in for the night, Pikachu fallows faithfully behind me and once I shut the door behind me I can't help but admit to myself something I have noticed.
Misty and Brock have gotten close in our journey together. Too close. Which totally isn't fair, because I liked her first, I saw her first. She's supposed to like me…not him.
Just because he's older and let's her waste time shopping doesn't mean she has to fall all over him, does it?
Well, maybe sometimes I am too preoccupied with winning. Then again, If I put everything on hold for some girl I have a crush on my dreams of being a Pokemon Master could be ruined!
Sighing miserably, I turned over in bed and pull the quilt Nurse Joy gave me around my shoulders. I close my eyes and yawn tiredly. "Goodnight, Pikachu."
"Pika!" She replies tiredly and settles in next to me. It's not fair that's the only female companionship that I get, while Brock does who knows what with Professor Ivy. Pretty soon, If I don't act fast, he'll be doing who knows what with Misty!
I close my eyes tighter. I won't think about that right now, I have to get some sleep. I have to make it to the next city by tomorrow night if I want to make it into the Jhoto League this year.
I sit on my bed and I hear her enter the room. I look up at her and she's smiling at me, like she always does before we turn in for the night. She lays her backpack next to mine and settles in Togepi for the night.
"Goodnight Brock." She says and quickly turns away from me. I notice a blush on her face before she turns her back to me and I stand up, spinning her around to face me. She seems so shy and almost afraid of me. Though, I don't know why such a beautiful girl would be so shy…after all, it's only me.
"I'm tired of seeing you sad all the time." I tell her, suddenly beginning to feel shy myself. That doesn't happen often with me, but around her I feel as if I'm not good enough. I know it hurt her when I flirted with her sisters, but she didn't know I thought she made the most beautiful mermaid in the world. I regret some of things I do everyday to make Misty feel unimportant to me.
In a way I'm just like Ash, perhaps even worse.
"Brock, I'm not sad." Misty tells me, looking down at the ground but I force her gaze to mine and her blue-green eyes shimmer with…something. I'm such a fool to not have noticed the beauty of my traveling companion for so many years…to have left her to travel to the orange islands while I stayed with a woman I got bored with after two days.
Neither one of them know the real reason I came back, and I intend to keep it that way for the sake of my friendship with Misty. Then again, If I confess why I came back, it could bring her and I closer together.
"Don't lie to me." I tell her, my hands on her shoulders. Her skin is cold, my hands are warm and I wish for just one night I wouldn't have to sleep alone. "Misty, if you want my honest opinion, I think you should just forget about Ash and…" I trail off, not sure of what I want to say and I hope she doesn't try to push it out of me.
"And what?" I hear the affliction in her voice; she sounds pretty angry. I turn to see her scowling in her usual Misty way and I can't help but find it endearing. She places her hands on her hips and stares at me, and I know I should be making eye contact with her but I can't help but look other places.
Since I left, Misty's really changed. She's blossoming into a beautiful rose and if I would have known that before I would have appreciated her more. She's becoming impatient so I better say something.
"And…find someone else." I finally finish my sentence and I regret it. She looks almost dejected and I feel like a jerk. I just keep messing up with her and I wonder why I can't seem to say the right thing at the right time.
"Find someone else…" She repeats after me and folds her arms. The statement seemed to calm her down rather than anger her, but I know Misty. She's still pretty angry and probably offended, I can tell by the look in her eyes. "I can't do that Brock. No one else would ever like me…"
My heart aches. Have I really been that neglectful of her? I mean, what did I really show I didn't care about her when I stayed with Ivy? I did know she looked a little sad the day they left without me, but that was probably just because she wouldn't have my cooking…at least that's why Ash was sad to see me go.
I was so selfish.
"Misty, don't say that. There is plenty of guys out there that like you." I assure her, realizing I'm using every excuse to touch her.
"Oh yea?" She asks. "Like who?"
Like me. That's what I want to say to her, I want to tell her so badly about how I feel because it's been eating me alive forever. "Well, there is that doctor that we met. He said you were cute."
"Oh, yea…" She giggles thinking about him and I wonder if one day she would ever think of me that way. "OK, so one other guy I'm never going to see again…"
"Tracy liked you." I remind her of the artist guy she traveled to the Orange Islands with. Though, I have the feeling her annoyed her. I found the paper with his number on it in her jean pocket, half the numbers washed away and the paper tore easily. I ended up throwing it away in the trashcan, not wanting to take the chance on her calling him again.
Just in case she did like him…
Then I would have more competition on my hands.
"Tracy annoyed me…" She says, confirming my suspicions and I laugh. She's so bluntly honest sometimes, it's funny.
I sigh and turn away from Brock. He's really cute, but really annoying. I used to think Brock was the smartest person I ever met, but somehow he's missing my signs.
Or maybe I'm not giving him the right signs. I mean, who am I kidding? I know absolutely nothing about boys. My sisters used to talk about dates and guys all the time, Violet even said she had a slight crush on Brock which made me extremely jealous. I think Lilly kind of liked Ash but for some odd reason I didn't feel as jealous over that.
Has my crush on Brock really gotten that bad?
He just doesn't get it…
"I'm going to bed…" I say, looking at him from the corner of my eye. I stomp away towards my room, but, of course, being my clumsy self, I kick over Brock's backpack. He doesn't say anything and I wonder if he's mad. "I'm sorry, Brock!" I apologize immediately and I knelt down to help him pick up the papers.
"It's alright." He assures me with a smile and I feel my heart melting. He repacks his supplies and I reached under the bed to pick up a small piece of paper that fell under the bed. I turn it over and I can hardly believe my eyes. It's a picture of professor Ivy.
My heart sinks. "Brock…you still have this?"
He looks momentarily surprised and he snatches it from me. "Uh…It…must have gotten mixed up in my notes I took. I…I don't even know why I still have it."
Instead of putting it back into his backpack he stares at it. I watch him for a moment as he props his backpack against the wall again and walks over to his bed. I feel as if I'm about to cry. Maybe he really is in love with Professor Ivy. She rejected him and he's still not over her.
I could never hope to be as beautiful as she was. I'm just not his type, I guess. "Brock…" I say softly as I hesitantly sit on the bed next to him. I realize that I'm not the only one who feels rejected, he knows how it feels too. Yet, when he left our trio, I felt rejected. I felt unimportant and I cried every time I felt alone and Brock wasn't there to talk to.
Suddenly, he tears the picture in half and tosses it in the trashcan. I'm shocked. "What did you do that for?" I ask.
"Misty, I have something to tell you." He says, making brief eye contact with me then looked back down to floor. "I lied about Professor Ivy rejecting me."
"You lied?" I ask. "What do you mean you lied?"
"I mean she never rejected me." He says, sighing miserably. "In fact, she was all over me the first night I stayed there."
I feel my skin grow cold, my heart races and the lump rises in my throat. I really don't want to hear about this, so I stand up and prepare to head to my room, but I feel him grab my hand. It's warm and slightly calloused. I turn around to face him and his face is serious, our gazes locked, his eyes unwavering from mine.
"Where are you going?" He asks. I bite my lip and look away. Something has changed in him, not necessarily in a bad way, but definitely different.
"I'm going to bed…" I answer, not sure of what else to say to him.
"Wait, can we talk first?" I hear him stand up from the bed and he turns me around to face him. I nod slowly and I wonder what's on his mind. Something's bothering him, I just know it.
He sits me down beside him on his bed. "Look, Ivy never rejected me. That's not why I came back." He confesses, looking rather uncomfortable.
"Why do you get depressed whenever someone mentions her then, Brock?" I have no idea what he's getting at, but for some reason my heart is racing. It always seems to do that when I'm with Brock.
"It's all just a show." He tells me. "I didn't want anyone to think I just left for no reason. I learned a lot there and Ivy was really in love with me."
My heart feels like ice and I really wish Brock would just let me go to my room, but he stalls me. I feel trapped and a tear escapes my eye. He wipes it away and it's the first time he's ever made a gesture like that. His touch is electrifying and it only makes me want to cry more.
Does he have any idea what affect he has on me?
"To be honest, Misty…" he says, almost unsure of himself. It's as if he's afraid of rejection or sounding like a complete idiot or something. "I came back for you."
I feel the back of my neck burning and I'm so shocked I can barely move. I nervously run my fingers through my red hair and a blush rises to my face. "What are you saying Brock?"
"I'm saying I missed you!" He exclaims, pulling me close to him. "And I'm tired of keeping it a secret from you. Professor Ivy and I had nothing important, I didn't even sleep with her."
I raise and eyebrow and fold my arms, looking back at him in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you stayed with her for all the time Ash and I were in the orange islands and you didn't do anything with her?"
"Besides kiss her…" He confesses and I feel a hint of jealousy, but it quickly dissipates when he pulls me close to him. I'm not sure rather to close my eyes or pull away. Brock is acting so strangely, he's moving closer to me and I can't hear anything but my own beating heart, the blood pumping around my brain.
His lips brush mine and I close my eyes. His lips are soft and warm, he's an expert at this, I can tell. I have no clue what I'm doing seeing as this is my first kiss. In fact, I don't think it's hit me yet that I'm kissing Brock.
I'm kissing Brock Harrison. The guy I've had a crush on, well, forever. He's slow and patient with me and I try to calm my breathing. I relax my muscles and let him overtake me, teach me all that he knows. It finally hits me and I kiss him back with an abandoned passion, feeling the strange, foreign feeling of his tongue against mine.
Pikachu shifts next to me, kicking his tiny paw into my side. I open my eyes, a little irritated that my small electric rodent is awake at this hour. I peered over at the Pokemon clock on the wall. It's almost 1 A.M. and I look down to see that Pikachu isn't awake at all, he's simply dreaming.
I turn over uncomfortably, staring in the opposite direction at Brock's door. It's closed, but I can see the light under the door and I close my eyes as my body is begging for sleep. Then, I realize something. It's 1 A.M.
Brock's always preaching at Misty and I about getting to bed on time, so what's he doing up at 1 A.M.? Especially since we have an early start tomorrow if I want to make it to the next city soon. I close my eyes and try to catch some sleep, but so many things are swimming through my mind.
Badges, battles, Pokemon, Misty…It's driving me insane. It's been eating me alive about how I've been treating Misty. I've gotten greedy and all I seem to care about lately is winning. If I keep it up I'm going to find Misty in the arms of another man one day, and I'll be the only one to blame.
I stand up, careful not to wake Pikachu. Maybe Brock can give me some guy advice or something. He's good with that stuff. I stumble through the darkness and over to the door and I open it.
My vision is blurred momentarily from the change of light, but I rub my eyes only to have my jaw drop and my blood freeze. She's kissing him, and not exactly briefly either. They haven't noticed that I've entered the room.
They are that enthralled with each other that my clumsy entrance didn't tear them away from each other at all! I open my mouth to say something, but decide against it. I simply shut the door quietly as not to disturb them because I know.
I know I deserve this. I put this on myself entirely. She looked to Brock for comfort when I was acting like a jerk and this is what I get.
I lay back down in my bed next to Pikachu who's still asleep. I close my eyes and that image plagues me. The image of my best friend kissing the girl I've had a crush on for ages.
Yes, I'm mad at Brock Harrison for breaking the guy code, but yet, I want Misty to be happy and if he makes her happy, then, so be it.
I'm going to smile for her because I want to make her happy. I'm going to laugh so she can't see me cry. And even if it kills me, I'm going to smile.
-FIN
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